This false conception of humility, that it takes his roots in our cultural agreements, is one of the great torpedoes to the waterline of a good self-esteem. Beyond the comparison, and they autoimagen of it, the self-esteem will be an appropriate ally to obtain to cover our needs, if it is product of autoconcepto, that is to say, the personal knowledge and the management that we do of our emotions. Therefore, to speak of self-esteem, forces to a continuous evaluation of one same one, and implies to have a diaphanous conviction than it can and it is not possible to be done. All this is translated in an increase of our capacities: to confront challenges, to develop to us in freedom and with an essential improvement of our relations with the others. A aggravated self-esteem can turn the relations with the others level, simple and, in impossible. In an educative relation, in the family or the work, one it lowers self-esteem can be translated in a strong authoritarianism (with indiscriminate punishments), an irrational permisivismo, an insufficient attention, important lack of affection, or in a full climate of false expectations. In a pair relation, it is possible to be translated in a desgastante monotony, that finishes in a sensation of accompanied solitude, full of continues rivalry and with little satisfaction affective. On the contrary, the people with a strong self-esteem strengthened in adjusted autoconcepto, are related of positive way and constructive, the jealousy fit, neither envies (the more own of the comparison and they autoimagen of it), reason why, it does not sabotage the work nor the profits of the others.
They are not friendly of tangles, critics or gadgets to discredit to the others. They know to generously request and to accept the support of the others. Finally, to have an adjusted self-esteem implies to look for and to know how to find, always within the limits of my person, the reasons and the causes of my mix-ups, my desamores and my annoyances The good self-esteem instituted cimienta on the certainty that within each person there is an idiosyncrasy that us makes unique, a great inner wealth that allows to construct us to us like valuable people. And is right this what often it ignores, because the valuation is put in front that the others do of us, on the effort to know our essence peculiar, authentic base of a balanced self-esteem.